Put a Bib on It

Mommy Doesn’t (Always) Know Best


I could almost bite my tongue in half sometimes trying to keep from telling my husband how to parent.

While we were lucky to have two weeks together as a family before he returned to work, it was just me and Miss E most days after that. I learned which of her cries meant what before he did, which books she liked, how best to soothe her. She and I established routines, and when my husband was home on the weekends throwing everything off balance, it was (and still is) incredibly difficult to control my temper when she’s screaming her head off. Once when she was particularly grouchy and he kept chatting her up and playing loud music, her bedtime was delayed even more by the argument that followed me telling him (gently, I swear!) that she was sleepy. My husband claims I don’t know any more than he does about being a parent. And he’s right. We both needed time to learn.

We’re a team, and while I’m not one for sports metaphors, I have to remember sometimes that while we’re working toward the same goal, we’re not playing the same position. Still, when my husband gives Miss E her bath at night I worry every. single. time. that the water in her baby tub is too high (it’s not) or too hot (it never is). This is a learning process for me, too: letting go, letting the man I married become a daddy.  They have their own books they like to read together. He sings different songs to quiet her. When I’m at work, people will ask if he’s “watching” her, and I always say no, he’s parenting her.

We don’t always agree, and I’m sure we haven’t had our last squabble over swaddling or tummy time or whether our daughter prefers Kirk or Picard. But the one thing we’ll always agree on is doing our individual best to keep her happy, healthy and safe.

Author: Jillian Kuhlmann

Mama. Nerd. Writer.

8 thoughts on “Mommy Doesn’t (Always) Know Best

  1. understand that feeling completely and I know he hates itwheni do his usual tasks.

  2. Oh my gosh Jillian, my thoughts exactly. Sometimes I want to boss my husband too and I do feel like the “expert”. I mean, I don’t tell him how to design buildings. But truth be told, he is an excellent father and I wouldn’t trust Ev more with anyone else. I’ve gone out of town and had people surprised I left Ev with his dad.

    • That’s crazy, people being surprised. If we weren’t nursing I’m sure my husband would spend even more time alone with Elinor. He’s a great dad.

  3. ladies, even when your babies are in their teens, I can still say from my experrience, moms and dads parent differently!

  4. What do you do when you think your husband is the better parent? Calmer, more patient, less likely to cry in the middle of the night out of frustration?

    • I’ve had a few of those nights, and I wish I could say my response was to be inspired by his patience. But it just made me cry more. Parenting is the hardest, hardest thing. Ever.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s