My husband and I had been together for 10 years when she was born, and I felt (most of the time) that we were in a great place to begin a family. We’d had a good long run of selfish fun. While I expected it might be difficult in the beginning, adjusting to our new roles as mom and dad was just one more thing I couldn’t have anticipated being as hard as it was (and still really, really is).
Every few weeks my Pinterest blows up with advice about how to keep your marriage alive with children. But when you dig a little deeper into all of the cute infographics and the apparently magical properties of date nights, it really shouldn’t require as much discussion and labor and grief as it gets. It should be easy. Honestly, if I spent even a quarter of the time I spend Pinning on my husband, instead, we’d be set.
But really. I married the guy for a lot of spectacular reasons, and I need to slow down and appreciate him as much as I do our daughter. While the few hours I have after she goes to bed could easily become a whirlwind of house work and obsessively checking Facebook and, ahem, writing blog posts, they shouldn’t always. Making a pot of tea, curling up on the couch, teasing conversation out of him and marveling at how we still have so much to say to each other even now, that’s more important than running the dishwasher. When we’re good to each other, we’re better parents.