Put a Bib on It

Married With Children

1 Comment

Do you really need date nights to be happily married (with children)?Some of the greatest parenting challenges, for me, don’t really have anything to do with my daughter. Unless you count being married to her daddy.

My husband and I had been together for 10 years when she was born, and I felt (most of the time) that we were in a great place to begin a family. We’d had a good long run of selfish fun. While I expected it might be difficult in the beginning, adjusting to our new roles as mom and dad was just one more thing I couldn’t have anticipated being as hard as it was (and still really, really is).

Every few weeks my Pinterest blows up with advice about how to keep your marriage alive with children. But when you dig a little deeper into all of the cute infographics and the apparently magical properties of date nights, it really shouldn’t require as much discussion and labor and grief as it gets. It should be easy. Honestly, if I spent even a quarter of the time I spend Pinning on my husband, instead, we’d be set.

But really. I married the guy for a lot of spectacular reasons, and I need to slow down and appreciate him as much as I do our daughter. While the few hours I have after she goes to bed could easily become a whirlwind of house work and obsessively checking Facebook and, ahem, writing blog posts, they shouldn’t always. Making a pot of tea, curling up on the couch, teasing conversation out of him and marveling at how we still have so much to say to each other even now, that’s more important than running the dishwasher. When we’re good to each other, we’re better parents.

Author: Jillian Kuhlmann

Mama. Nerd. Writer.

One thought on “Married With Children

  1. This is a topic near and dear to my hear at the moment. It is the easiest thing in the world to drift apart from your sweetheart without even realizing it’s happening. So in my opinion date nights are essential, whether it be leaving the house or staying in. Sometimes life get crazy and, lets face it, relationships require work to stay healthy, just like everything else in your life. I know many people that think alone time should just come naturally, the brutal truth is that many days, it doesn’t. After a 10 hour shift with no lunch break and you come home exhausted and realize you didn’t thaw anything out for dinner, and the kiddo hasn’t done her homework and the house is a disaster–those are the days when I look my boyfriend and wonder how I’m going to give him the attention he needs and deserves. And then I look at myself and wonder when it is that I last did something nice for myself and can’t even begin to remember. So, Jillian, I feel ya!

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