Not that she won’t be loved, mind, but that she won’t be loved quite as much as her big sister.
It’s pretty challenging to outshine a walking cartoon, which is what Miss E is daily becoming. The conversations she has with herself make grown, stoic folk giggle. She dresses herself, so, no explanation required there. Miss E is just so intensely involved with the world and present in a way that a pensive, crawling girl sometimes gets a little sidelined.
In a recent conversation with my husband, we were talking about how much we love Little Sister, but also how different it is with a second child, another baby. My husband said we have “history” with Miss E, and it’s true. We’ve shared our lives with her in a way we haven’t yet with Little Sister, or are only just beginning to. I can see now that we weren’t complete without her, but it’s also such a strange dynamic, having experienced things in a big way with Miss E, to slow down and remember that life with a baby is a whole lot different.
I never thought it was strange that Miss E couldn’t talk when she was a baby, or feeling like she was perhaps missing out because of all of the things she couldn’t do yet. But sometimes I look at Little Sister, yammering around a mouthful of Cheerios or stubbornly scooting around the house after me and I think, it’s like she’s locked in. There’s stuff she wants to tell me and can’t. There’s things she wants to do and can’t. And because I’ve seen now what babies grow up to be and do, I have complicated feelings for her. Honestly, I feel a little sorry for her, which is just silly.
Because there’s another thing my husband said that truly resonates with me, and grounds me again in appreciating babies for who they are and what they CAN do: she’s experiencing the whole world, every little thing, for the first time. I loved observing that process with Miss E and I relish getting to see it all over again with Little Sister, too.
And she’s just as loved, likely more loved, because having done this before, I know now just how much I’ll miss this age, and all of the joys I have to look forward to.