One of the happiest days of my life was finding out that my wife was pregnant with our son. It comes to no surprise that when my wife was acting strange I was suspicious that we might be expecting again. My wife almost couldn’t contain herself and did her best to capture my reaction on video like many other people. I was speechless and wanted to share our excitement with some close friends. It was such a joy. Parenting has taught me so much and I was about to learn another lesson.
Sorrowfully, it wasn’t the lesson that I had expected. After only one week my wife began not feeling well and knew something was wrong. We lost this precious joy a few days later and were stunned. There were no words, only emotions. We wondered what we had done to have this happen. We started asking, why? Questions of how and why float through my head. I’ve not quite felt the same since. My wife has taken this very hard and time is the only thing that has brought me to the point of being able to write about it. There are few words that can console a soul from hurting.
My wife and I have leaned on our faith as we question and try to understand why something like this would happen. Through this we are reminded that life is so valuable and precious, and we have faith that it will work out. I can’t imagine all the things that my wife has had to endure, and all I can do is love and support her and give her space to feel what she needs to feel.
I remember thinking that being a parent is the most important and difficult thing that I could ever do in my life. Life continues to teach us and we learn through every experience. I think about what I can learn from going through this. Time helps, but only a little. I keep revisiting in my mind what I could have done differently or done to help. I struggle with the answers, but I know that we will get through this together as a family.